…just sayin’

Dropping off a tourist determined to hike up Camelback Mountain during an excessive heat warning should be illegal. “We took a shuttle from our hotel!” shouted clueless who looked directly into the t.v. camera yesterday and exclaimed “We aren’t from around here!”

Really?  Because your flushed white skin, your half empty 8oz. bottle of flavored water and the fact that it was 2 in the afternoon wasn’t a giveaway. I still have a twinge on my left side of my face from that eye roll.

Right there on the evening news last night, as reporters gleefully announced we did it again! we broke records with our extreme heat of 119 in PHX! so hot that planes cannot land and must be diverted!  interviews with people who have no business even being outside in this heat let alone hiking in it.

There are Park Rangers now stationed out on the more popular trails trying to stop the madness, handing out water and sound advice but mostly getting ignored. Local news camera crews sit in air conditioned vans, waiting patiently to film the next “over eager to prove us all wrong that it’s not too hot” group walking up to a sweaty and frustrated  fully uniformed Park Ranger…

“Breaking News! Hikers ignore all warnings and climb up Camelback anyways despite record breaking heat!” “Breaking News! Rescuers called to retrieve stranded hiker…”

Camelback is not an easy hike. Stop lying locals, you know it’s not easy, it’s a couple of hours round trip of deadly hot during this time of year. I can tell you from experience, if you pick the wrong time of day and put the wrong fuel in your body, you can plan on a severe headache and vomiting if a hospital visit isn’t required. And don’t think you can just wander off and create your own trail up there, you will be lucky to live or even be found.

Oh, and be thankful your hotel had you dropped off at Camelback and not Four Peaks like you asked because you thought you could get a beer after your hike.

Honestly you will find hikers on the local mountain trails everyday regardless of the weather. I have been on Piestewa/Squaw Peak and had a man at least 20 years my senior run by me carrying hand weights! Ok, this is also the type of person who does it regularly, lives here and can rescue your dumb ass for even trying it in the heat.

I call Squaw Peak the stair master.

Uh, so hey, non-local, non desert tourist types, we are not impressed that you came here at the worst time of the year possible to show all of us your incredible athletic abilities or lack of. My heart sinks knowing that at a minimum, 4 to 5 of our rescuers will be sent to risk their lives because of you, your lack of respect to us, the heat and our desert.

We are not amused to see you holding your diet coke and arrogantly claiming how you hike all the time.

Let’s be honest. We can LOOK at you and know you are not in shape for doing anything in this extreme heat. Have you ever met anyone who trains or purposely does their workout outside, in 100 degrees plus temperatures with 5% humidity regularly? The intense kind of work out required to be able to rescue hurt individuals?

They seem to have much less fat deposit under their skin,  wear better shoes  have less air in their heads and carry more water…

 

 

 

 

 

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