Apparently, it’s possible to piss off a hummingbird. I’m guessing little bird complex.

There are two hummingbirds I see regularly. One has red on its chest or throat. The other is more of a green. Their feathers are iridescent. Really, they are pretty birds, but as you all know I use an iPad mini so I have no shot at getting a good close up. I don’t even try.

I have been waiting for our bird of paradise bush to bloom in hopes of a good picture. It’s right by the living room window so I keep a pretty close eye on it. This time of year here in the desert random plants are blooming because the weather change has been so drastic.

Yesterday morning the bush seemed to be covered in new orange blooms. The little tube like flowers wilt easily and have a very short shelf life. Something hummingbirds are aware of also. As with everything in life, it’s all about timing.  I needed to get out there quickly.

I’m frozen and wearing my oversized white fluffy robe so I need to change before I go out. With an expected high only in the 70’s, the morning was cold for a desert kid like me but I’m pretty sure I don’t need to hover over this poor plant looking like the abominal snow man so I go and change.

The red hummingbird has beaten me to the bush. I hear the hum as I step closer.

As expected, due to this weather snap, it’s slim pickin’s already for me to find blooms that haven’t started showing signs of stress. Red however is having absolutely no problem locating happy orange tubes to insert it’s face into.

Not that long ago after the last good rain, our purple flowers bloomed and were immediately covered in desperate bees stocking up. I was able to stick my arms into these bushes holding an iPad without one sting. It was busy and bustling but as long as everyone stayed out of each other’s way lots of work was getting done. I took some amazing pictures that day.

Apparently, hummingbirds aren’t as cooperative. I can guarantee you Reds not.

Not concerned in any way for my safety, I lean in to the orange bush to get a closer look only to have a hummingbird whiz past my head then fly up to the tree and land on a branch making noises I took as hummingbird cussing.

The bush is covered in flowers but, unlike working with the bees, me and Red CANNOT share and I’m being told about it.

My head is now the tower and Red is requesting a fly by. I feel the side of my head vibrate as this miniature jet fighter screams past. Faintly I hear “…gonna take you right in to the danger zone…”

This makes me laugh. I say out loud “you’re serious right now?” and throw up my hands as if I’m saying “bring it little bird.”

No big crazy humming bird fight happens next. Red didn’t tackle me and flop me around with his surprising hummingbird strength. No, just another talking to from the branch above.

But now I feel guilty. I’m in the way of food and trust me no one wants to be in my way when I’m “starving” so I get it.

For me, minutes of snapping unnecessary pictures is nothing. But to this hardworking, fast moving hummingbird I’m some huge, incredibly slow moving creature who isn’t even eating, just staring at the food, slowing down the buffet line while the food goes bad, until, infuriated, it screams “move bitch get out tha way!”

It’s all perspective.